Clinically Bolera: sink or swim

Clinically Bolera: sink or swim

sink or swim

For quite a long time... i am in lo.. ok im in deep shit.

Ok i do..i love.. him.

He turned my world around, showing me things i thought were extinct.

Made me realize chivalry is not yet dead.

Screwed my evil plans of world domination.

Made me decide to stop smoking.

Made me want to stay home on weekends.

Loves me.

And he has a girlfriend...

Over and over i keep on thinking this is wrong.. i better get going. God knows i tried. I try. Everyday.

Until now.

So with the very slight chance, i end up hurting him... i hope he reads this.

Dear Mark,

I am sorry. It pains me more than anything to be here alone somewhere without you. I miss you everyday. I still look at my phone waiting for your name to appear on my inbox or missed calls. I still sometimes sleep in my car because it makes me smile thinking you're with me in it. I wear your shirt when i sleep. I look at your picture everyday. I pray for you at every chance i get to talk to God. I would still sometimes attempt to make a left going to your street but end up making a U. It makes me smile when the priest talks about John the Baptist... it's like hearing your name in church when im with God and i think its His way to brighten my day. I still don't smoke. I can't help but turn my head when i see motocross bikers. I still hear your voice in my head... your weird laugh... and your voice when you sing..hahaha.. (oops..sorry ☺) I will forever miss your hugs and your kiss and will still dream one day i'll find my self in your arms.

I love you. I don't want to mess your life. I don't want to confuse you. Im sorry i don't reply or text as often or i don't reply or text at all. Im sorry i missed your calls. Im sorry i don't hang out anymore. But please know, i die a little each time...

Mahal... *kiss* *kiss* *kiss* *super hug*

Arbie